True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
