He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
