so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
