I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize