If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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