No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
