I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
