I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
