It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
why does every cop we meet know your name?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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