Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
