Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
