Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
