Got a toothbrush?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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