Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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