Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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