what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
