Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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