shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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