I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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