Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i would one night stand the shit outta him
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
