Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
