Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
