You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
