get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
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Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
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He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Will exercising make me less horny?
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