Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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