Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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