nutella sex= disaster
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize