i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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