I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize