I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
