I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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