When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
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Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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