Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
