Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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