I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
whose parrot is this?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Randomize
