nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
