so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
