so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
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I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
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omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony