I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
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this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain