i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
