I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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