RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
