I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
not ubering you a puppy
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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