So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
