just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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