lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
smell my finger.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
