Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
