I think im going to throw up on grandma
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
