i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
How external is "for external use only"?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
