At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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