i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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