Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
