is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
