I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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