He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
they're like a gay fantastic four
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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