Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
