There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Verdict: uncircumcised.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
