i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
