Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
