and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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