Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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