She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
