So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
