Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
