so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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