i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
