I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
