My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
