Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Randomize
