she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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